The Scary Troll seems not to have been able to find a bridge to haunt, so he has taken up residence in our living room. He is currently watching xxx movies and banging loudly enough on the table to wake me up. I yelled out of my room and he quieted. . .but now he's just saying "yes" a lot.
I was worried, thought he was yelling at kitty, but actually he was yelling "take it off" to the television screen. I'm getting my information from my other female roommate who is currently locked in her room downstairs on the second floor, next to the TV, text messaging me. It's like we're keeping tabs on Mexican terrorist action in a border town or something.
"Where is he now?"
"According to the pitter pat pattern he's making his way to the bathroom."
"I hear vomiting, can you confirm?"
"Confirmed, three retches. Deep ones."
This is what we do.
My informant below is fasting now, usually she would go down at 4am to eat something in the kitchen but with the troll in the living room she says she'll just make do with the water in her room. I told her I would accompany her. But she reminded me that if one makes it past the scylla of the Scary Troll, one still has to deal with the charybdis of our new roommate Hairy Fairy.
Hairy Fairy is very tall and used to keep his shirt on but has currently taken to walking around in his boxer shorts letting his floppy stomach and hairy back stake their claims on the visual space.
We try to respect his decency, even if he doesn't, by looking away, but it's altogether a very compelling sight and something one doesn't see every day so I tend to sneak a peek as he shuffles past. The funny thing is that Hairy Fairy has this strange way of being almost completely naked but acting as if he were fully clothed, just shuffling on by, slightly hunched. A staunch royalist from Northern England, very at home with his English eccentricity, seemingly harmless, talks with a lisp, calls an umbrella a "bwelli," vegetarian, likes to sleep.
I wonder if he's ever going to walk out completely nude. Maybe he just has to stay in this crazy city long enough to start binge drinking like the rest of em and who knows. . .it took him less than a week to lose the shirt.
Anyway Hairy Fairy appears harmless at present. His only problem is having gotten the short end of the genetic stick and that really isn't his fault. Besides, he's got an oblivious kookiness that's not altogether without charm. . .not altogether.
The Scary Troll is a problem though. So sad an pathetic. I feel bad for him and I am grossed out by his vomit. Would like to help somehow. . .but how? What's the story of the troll under the bridge? How does he transform at the end? Isn't there something about a goat? Or do they just push him over a cliff?
For now. . . we stay in our rooms until the Troll quits banging on the furniture and drags himself to bed. Which I think now. . .he has done. . .so. . me too. . .night/morning.
xo
T
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